bucketlistpanic

This is my first post here. In two days I will be trapped in a car for six hours as my husband and I drive to another state to visit family. I'm afraid I'll panic in the car, as I have before. In case of panic, I plan to bring small paper bags to breathe into, a small bottle of lavender essential oil to sniff, a book to read and a Nintendo Switch to distract me. I was also recently gifted a free 3-month trial of Youtube Premium, so I will download some videos to watch on the trip, also to help distract me from my fears. I'll wear my green Tara necklace, it's a carved pendant of green Tara with lots of beads on the cord. I hope it will remind me that everything is okay, not to resist my fears but to face them with loving kindness and curiosity. It will also give me something to fidget with.

Once we arrive, we'll be staying with my husband's parents. While we're there, we'll have opportunities to cross things off my bucket list, like explore a cave, visit an island, go camping. My anxiety has been pretty high lately, so all of them seem frightening. My life has up and downs when it comes to panic, and I've gone years without panicking, but lately it seems much harder and I've had several panic attacks in the last three months. I hope venting here will help me, and I look forward to reading other journals here.