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Gen con, family issues, and the house
Sep. 14th, 2021 10:14 pmTomorrow is the trip for Gen Con. Quentin and Dana will pick us up in the evening. I'll be bringing my most comfy clothes, and a mask, maybe even two masks. We're all vaccinated but breakthrough cases are a thing, and we'll be indoors with a bunch of strangers. Last night I didn't get much sleep because my thoughts kept alternating between worrying about getting sick at Gen Con, and being mad at my sister and my family.
My sister and I had a public discussion on Facebook about mandatory vaccination, and it got a little out of hand. I was trying to be careful about being respectful, but the conversation was headed in directions I just didn't have the energy to go in, so I said we should just agree to disagree. I guess she thought I was dismissing her opinions in a rude way, because then she accused me of thinking that anyone who disagrees with me is just stupid. That really annoyed me, but I didn't want to escalate, so I just replied saying that wasn't true. Then I shut off the PC. When I got into bed later, my mind returned to the debate we had, and I got mad again. One negative thought kept leading to another, and another. Covid, anti-vaxxers, my relationship with my sister, my family, my family's beliefs, wishing I didn't care but caring deeply anyway. I had gone to bed around 2AM, then lied in bed trying and failing to go to sleep until around 4AM. Got up, watched some TV, drank some punch, got back to sleep some time after 5AM.
Colin confessed that he was having second thoughts about getting that house we liked. I was disappointed. He worried that we were buying at the worst time, at the peak of a bubble, that it was too big for us, that he wasn't sure if we could afford it. I don't know, it seemed like he thought we could afford it before. Colin says he has to look into company policy and see if they will let him work remotely, but he said that weeks ago. We haven't started on the pre-approval letter or been in touch with Jan since we told her we were interested in that house. I want to ask him about it, but as usual I am afraid of confrontation or annoying him. I've got to get some kind of job, then I won't feel this guilt anymore about how he does all the work. Then I'd be more comfortable voicing my concerns, knowing that I contribute financially too.
Anyway I just haven't been handling my stress well lately, resorting instead to old habits like stress-eating or escaping to video games instead.
My sister and I had a public discussion on Facebook about mandatory vaccination, and it got a little out of hand. I was trying to be careful about being respectful, but the conversation was headed in directions I just didn't have the energy to go in, so I said we should just agree to disagree. I guess she thought I was dismissing her opinions in a rude way, because then she accused me of thinking that anyone who disagrees with me is just stupid. That really annoyed me, but I didn't want to escalate, so I just replied saying that wasn't true. Then I shut off the PC. When I got into bed later, my mind returned to the debate we had, and I got mad again. One negative thought kept leading to another, and another. Covid, anti-vaxxers, my relationship with my sister, my family, my family's beliefs, wishing I didn't care but caring deeply anyway. I had gone to bed around 2AM, then lied in bed trying and failing to go to sleep until around 4AM. Got up, watched some TV, drank some punch, got back to sleep some time after 5AM.
Colin confessed that he was having second thoughts about getting that house we liked. I was disappointed. He worried that we were buying at the worst time, at the peak of a bubble, that it was too big for us, that he wasn't sure if we could afford it. I don't know, it seemed like he thought we could afford it before. Colin says he has to look into company policy and see if they will let him work remotely, but he said that weeks ago. We haven't started on the pre-approval letter or been in touch with Jan since we told her we were interested in that house. I want to ask him about it, but as usual I am afraid of confrontation or annoying him. I've got to get some kind of job, then I won't feel this guilt anymore about how he does all the work. Then I'd be more comfortable voicing my concerns, knowing that I contribute financially too.
Anyway I just haven't been handling my stress well lately, resorting instead to old habits like stress-eating or escaping to video games instead.
