An anxious day
Sep. 11th, 2021 02:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bucketlistpanicI ate too much and drank coffee too late, so now I have to stay up for a while before I can go to bed. My addiction to coffee is a serious problem. I have gastroparesis (slow stomach) so my diet is limited, or at least it *should* be if I want to follow doctor's orders. I do want to, and I have tried and failed to quit coffee many times. Some things were easier to give up than others. The latest thing I've managed to give up was beef. I love burgers! But the meat is fatty, greasy, and fiberous, terrible for my stomach. If only coffee could be the next thing to go. It gives me acid reflux every day, and I know damaging my esophagus can have serious consequences, and it hurts, but I just keep drinking it. Maybe tomorrow will be the day.
I told Colin that waiting to get the pre-approval letter for a mortgage was a bad idea. He seemed annoyed but he didn't argue with me. Then later we went for a drive and I imagined all my worst fears about that trip to Gen Con. This is called exposure. It worked as intended, I felt anxious and sad. Purposely didn't bring anything to comfort myself, didn't do any self-soothing, and just sat with the discomfort. Later Colin and I talked about it.
After the exposure I felt drained, and didn't feel like doing anything else on my to-do list. So I didn't get around to calling anyone. Maybe tomorrow. Played some Minecraft instead. We watched A Quiet Place 2, didn't like it. Tomorrow I should do another exposure but I sure don't want to.
I told Colin that waiting to get the pre-approval letter for a mortgage was a bad idea. He seemed annoyed but he didn't argue with me. Then later we went for a drive and I imagined all my worst fears about that trip to Gen Con. This is called exposure. It worked as intended, I felt anxious and sad. Purposely didn't bring anything to comfort myself, didn't do any self-soothing, and just sat with the discomfort. Later Colin and I talked about it.
After the exposure I felt drained, and didn't feel like doing anything else on my to-do list. So I didn't get around to calling anyone. Maybe tomorrow. Played some Minecraft instead. We watched A Quiet Place 2, didn't like it. Tomorrow I should do another exposure but I sure don't want to.
